I'm on FIRE!

You wouldn't know it, but I have a special gift. Very special indeed.

A gift that can take your breath away, make you gasp in surprise while at the same time make you thankful you don't have this particular gift.

You see, I make really awkward jokes. The kind that make people stop and stare. The kind that make people wonder just where this train wreck will end.

The kind where Mr. Potts stares at me in disbelief, just wondering when I'll pick up on the fact that I've completely swallowed my foot.

Let's back up, shall we. Because to appreciate this wonderful gift, you truly need a good example.

I went to a wedding shower last weekend. The kind where it is mostly family and a few friends. I knew all of the local girls there. The only one I hadn't met before was the maid of honor. She seemed nice enough at the shower.

That evening, Mr. Potts and I went to the bride to be's house to hang out with our friends. We enjoyed talking to the maid of honor. She seemed nice & likes animals (big plus in our book).

Towards the end of the night, I asked the maid of honor about her hands (they're red, no reason why, just red like they're inflamed) & this train jumped right off the proverbial tracks.


Now, my question was in no way meant to be rude or malicious, I just was concerned - so the question went like this. "Maid of Honor, your hands are red, are you ok? Did you maybe have an allergic reaction to something? I've got some Benadryl if you need it."

Now granted, I might have avoided the question during the shower, but I think with the drinking she had done (which was A LOT) they may have been more red & much more noticeable.

My concern didn't go over so well, to say the least.

She promptly sat on her hands & yelled about how her hands have always been like that & that we must think her a freak. Both Mr. Potts & I reassured her that wasn't the case, that we thought she was great.

She continued to freak out about her hands - increasing in intensity as we tried to reassure her.

This is when my special talent was revealed as I tried to make an awkward situation better by making really awkward jokes.

Sigh

I told her that if it was me, I'd tell people my hands were "on fire" (imagine the fire being said in a really exaggerated way)- yeah, I know, not really sure where that one came from... Let's just say it didn't go over so well?

Did I stop?

Surely you know the answer to that question.

Of course not. Why stop when you've just made things awkward, but are convinced that you can make it better by telling more jokes?

And so I continued.

With, "I'd tell people I'm so hot I'll burn them," together with my licking my finger, touching my arm & making a sizzling sound.

Are you cringing yet?

I am, just remembering it.

Then it continued with the fire gun hands where I would "shoot" fire from my hands as I took aim all around the room.

I think Mr. Potts almost walked away when I started juggling the "fire" balls in my hands.

All in the attempt to make things better.

I KNOW!

Needless to say, we now have a key phrase.

THUNDER

As in, when Mr. Potts is watching me at my best, he'll mention how he thought he heard THUNDER.

Hope it never happens when it is raining outside. I may not get that hint. Who knows what could happen the next time!

Anyone else out there with this special talent?

Fabulous Friday!

Happy Friday Everyone! It's here - another edition of Fabulous Friday! A highlight of all things fabulous that I've stumbled across over the course of this week (in no particular order, of course!) or even fond memories I have stored in my brain.

As with last week's FF, I'm going to highlight some blogs on Fabulous Friday that may have touched my heart, made me laugh out loud or perhaps even just re-evaluate the way I look at things.

Last week I highlighted someone who is making changes in her life. This week I bring you Brown Girl. A woman I would love in real life if we ever met. She reminds me of me, except in a not white girl type of way. I love this post and how she shares with us what works for her. Sometimes when people do that it can come off as condescending & I love that this one never did.

For those of you who don't read her, Maegan of ...love Maegan shared her French Bulldog LeRoy this week. Animal lovers out there - you'll find the clip of him eating grass amusing. It made me smile & think about how Maddy would chomp on some grass every once in a while.

Jenny of So Say I had me laughing out loud in my hotel room and shaking my head when she shared about a certain part of San Francisco. For those feint of heart, please don't read this one while eating. I for certain will not be going to that area of the city!

Ashley of Kiwis & Cocktails needs your help. She had me laughing in her search for the perfect ankle bracelet. If any of you have an idea of how to make one, please let her know!

MCW was a "Lady Who Lunches" this week. Which was funny. Then yesterday while I was out eating lunch (a lunch so yummy & filled with garlic that I could STILL keep a vampire away - just not Edward, please?) I saw a group of older women who were indeed lunching. They were all in their 70's (and comparing to see who was the oldest, HA!) & having such a great time. I hope to keep such a great group of friends that I'm doing that when I'm in my 70's. And asking for a beer or glass of wine as several of them did.

I've also noticed that I have some new followers. Come play & let me know who you are.

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

Where in the World Wednesday - A SPRING DREAM

New England is lovely & thankfully the weather has been beautiful (and WARM) this week so far. I think that this area is prettiest in the fall, however, when all the leaves are turning & it is just a mad rush of color that can overwhelm even the most jaded person (ahem, that would be me).

But by far, I think that SPRING in the South is the most lovely time of the year. Period. Anywhere.

And so for this week's Where in the World Wednesday, I'm dreaming of a Southern Spring.

Because I'm ready for it.

And also it makes more sense then to sit in my stylist's chair and say, "More highlights, please."

Didn't make as much sense a week ago when I asked that, but hey, I'm in the mood for Spring!

I'm ready for little ones in Spring clothes hugging hairy yellow dogs.

I'm ready for NC dogwoods to begin blooming.

Image via

I'm ready for Spring clothes, Spring shoes and Spring warmth.

I'm ready to roll down my windows (after I AutoBell - since my car is so full of dog hair that I'd be covered in it) and enjoy the warmth. Only to begin sneezing for days.

But all the sneezing & sniffling will be worth it because it will be SPRING!!!

Top 2 Tuesday

The Undomestic Momma hosts Top 2 Tuesday each week. I don't believe I've ever participated before, but I thought this one would be fun - pick your top 2 baby names.

Some of you may be pondering my choice in participating since Mr. Potts & I won't be creating any little potts or pans (I made a funny, you can laugh, I did!). Even though little ones of our own won't be gracing our household doesn't mean that I can't have favorite baby names.

So, if we were ever to have a little girl munchkin, she would be named Katherine Ann. Katherine is his grandmother's middle name & Ann is my middle name passed down from my mom.

I couldn't go with a name after my grandmother - Gertrude anyone? Gert? Gertie? Trudie? Probably not, huh?

If there were ever a little boy munchkin, he would be named Preston Michael. Michael because it is a good name & Preston was my grandfather's middle name (we'd HAVE to go with the middle since his first name was Harvey). Plus, if we went that route, he'd totally be a PIMP because his initials would be PMP.

Yep, I just went there. I'm a dork.

On a serious side note, though, what was it with the naming of that generation? I also had an aunt Lucille & an uncle Horace!

But it is OK - remember - not procreating!

So if any of you love these names, please feel free to take them & use them. If you choose Gertrude or Harvey, however, I'm not taking the blame!

Fabulous Friday

Happy Friday Everyone! It's here - another edition of Fabulous Friday! A highlight of all things fabulous that I've stumbled across over the course of this week (in no particular order, of course!) or even fond memories I have stored in my brain.

I wanted to share a recent adventure I had. This week I had to go to my periodontist for my special cleaning - I go every 4 months for scaling & planing after having had 2 soft tissue graft surgeries.

While none of that is fabulous (trust me - I insisted on being knocked out completely for the surgeries which resulted in some pretty funny stories), I wanted to remind you how important maintaining your mouth's health is.

Jane from Wishful Thinking shared earlier this week about her fear of dentists. I've been there & gone through the fear, anxiety & tense muscles. But please trust me, you're MUCH better off going to a regular dentist for a regular cleaning versus going to a periodontist for the special cleanings.

I've also thought a lot this week (haven't been able to sleep well this week & my mind just races when that happens!) about different bloggers that have touched me. So for the month of March, I'm going to highlight some blogs on Fabulous Friday that may have touched my heart, made me laugh out loud or perhaps even just re-evaluate the way I look at things.

Julie was in my thoughts this week when I couldn't sleep really thinking about how I look at myself and how I evaluate my health. One of her posts really reconfirmed for me how important it is for me to be healthy - which for me has included losing weight.

Since I gain weight around my stomach (I'm an apple, not a pear) I'm at a higher risk for heart disease, diabetes, or breast cancer. I'm also more likely to have anxiety, depression, menstrual irregularities and fertility problems. This really struck a chord with me, since I have a family history of heart disease, cancer, anxiety & depression. Thank you Julie, for helping me take a second look at my own health & how I approach it.

Brittany shared "How Do You Choose Who to Marry?" & I loved it. It made me smile in a way that only words from young children can. I have a book that is very similar to this & I pick it up every once in a while for a smile.

Amber had me nodding my head in agreement over the marriage referee. I'm with her, in case you're wondering - I feel a burning need to finish the last of everything.

Carrie has me longing for some slow cooking - you should check out this post simply for the picture of food!

Tara made me smile when she wrote that her life is not all "sequins & glitter". I loved how she wrote about her love but reminded us all that no one's life is perfect.

What blogs have inspired you, made you laugh out loud, made your mouth water or simply made you take a step back & look at your life this week?

Adding this one in - d.a.r. sent me over to Jeans Friday for the Public Service Announcement and I have to say, I agree. I've not received a "mean" comment before, but I hope that if I ever do, I handle it with the thought that, "I'm choosing to share my thoughts, dreams, hopes & nightmares with people. If they don't like it, I can't control it."

Happy Friday Y'all!

Top Two Tuesday!

Top Two Tuesday is hosted by Taylor over at the undomestic momma and has looked like fun over the past few weeks. This week's topic is Top Two Favorite Stores.

When I started thinking about this, my mind went to food. I started thinking about the specialty shops that I love to browse for foods - Whole Foods and my local Farmer's Markets and on the other end of the spectrum, Crate & Barrel, Williams-Sonoma, etc.

Then I thought I could go towards shopping - you know: clothes, makeup, shoes, etc. I could lean towards small, local boutiques or big sprawling super stores.

Choices!!

I had a bit of a rough time (can you tell I can't make decisions??) but finally narrowed it down to these two as my favorite stores to shop at:

Nordstrom

I absolutely love that I can go there for pretty dresses, jeans, makeup, unbelieveable handbags, fabulous shoes & have coffee once I'm done shopping!

Williams-Sonoma

I love the selection of cookware and bakeware - a girl can dream of uber nice pots & pans without being able to afford them. *Sigh*

I love the appliances & the gadgets. I love the food selections (HELLO Sprinkles cupcakes to go into a bridal shower gift!) & the table linens.

I could spend days in there!

Thankfully our Williams-Sonoma is very close to our Nordstrom. Fulfilling wishes a few at a time.

There really is no place like home

My life has been quite the whirlwind lately with the amount of travel that I have been doing. It is hard to be away from Mr. Potts, our pets, my munchkins & my mama, but I realize that this new position is really setting the stage for my next career move. Which should be a fairly big one. But NOT for quite a while!

When I come home, I tend to want to veg & relax. Catch up with Mr. Potts. Play with Hayden. Brush Pepe Cat (hairy monster that he is). See the munchkins.

There's no place like home.

My patience level may be a little frayed from being gone - not to mention that I've never had much of it anyway.

We went Saturday afternoon to see Mama & the munchkins. Driving along the interstate we saw a wall of traffic ahead of us. I shuddered (Mr. Potts was driving & we both agree that I'm the better driver) and then released a sigh of relief. We'd be getting off at the exit before the traffic stopped.

I realized then that we had a tournament in town. I realize that tournaments are a good thing for the city. They generate revenue, hotel occupancy is up, restaurant business is up.

BUT

There's no place like home...unless a tournament is in town.

They also congest my city's streets with drivers who aren't sure where they're going. Making right turns from left lanes.

Sitting in the middle of the intersection & blocking traffic (and my ability to use the cross-walk) because they didn't wait for the next green light.

They are rude & loud, shoving past people to get where they want to go.

Heaven help them if they ever shoved, jostled or were rude to my Mama. Or the Munchkins. Talk about a Mama Bear coming out! Leigh Anne Tuohy has nothing on me.

So Mr. Potts & I did what any smart Charlottean did this weekend. Stayed the hell out of uptown.

We went to one of our local places for Cuban food.

We thanked God that the people in town for the tournament had no interest in our little neighborhood.

We enjoyed our dinner & our night together.

While Mama Bear stayed under wraps.

I guess we all should be thankful for that!