The Reason for my Prayer Request

One of my earliest memories as a small child are of my step-father, my brother's dad. The memory is not a happy one. It was my birthday and my mom had just finished putting together my big, pink Barbie house. I was so excited and played with it as long as she would let me. When we were getting ready for bed, there was a pounding on the door. It was my step-father, drunk and angry and wanting to be let in. My mother called the police - as did several neighbors. We had to leave the house to go to my grandparents, I think so my mother could feel safe. He appeared at the backseat car door, crying and upset.

That is all I can remember of that time. There were others and I know my mother protected us from the brunt of his anger, taking it all herself. She told him to leave and eventually he did.

Not only was my step-dad a drunk, but he was a mean, violent, selfish drunk. There were times when the only money left in the house was enough to buy a loaf of bread, a carton of eggs and some milk - food so that she could feed her two children. She came home too many times to find the money gone, replaced instead with beer. Usually with him so drunk that he passed out on the floor or in the shower.

He was eventually out of our lives. She requested no child support so that we would not have to be exposed to his drunkenness, his meanness, his violence.

Fast forward to today. My brother is an alcoholic. He is a drunk and would rather spend his extra money on beer rather than putting it aside for his children. He is a mean drunk and his rage is one of the most frightening things I've ever had directed at me. I can only imagine what it is like living with it - as my mom and my niece and nephew are. He has punched holes in walls, ripped towel racks off of walls, kicked doors in. You name it, he's probably done it.

My mom is so scared of him, because for a while, he was doing so good & wasn't drinking. That ended about a month ago. His girlfriend is probably leaving soon - which is best for her, because no woman should ever be scared of the man they love.

When she leaves, she then leaves my mom alone with the children and their violent, drunk father. And she is scared. Scared of how he may hurt her. And he might. She is scared to tell him to get out as it may end in violence. She is scared of what her grandchildren are going to know about their father. Not a loving, proud father, but a drunken, violent one.

She is also scared that my brother may hurt himself. Many of you know that alcoholism and depression go hand in hand. In this case, it is definitely true. My mom is scared that her youngest child who is so depressed may end up killing himself.

I'm scared for my mom. I listen to her. I try to take her away from the situation, but she hates to go home - to her own home because she is scared. She's never been good at confrontation, but this is one that she is going to have to face. I don't know how to help her. I don't doubt that if I confront my brother, I may become the target of his violence.

My Mr. Potts is so kind and gentle. He loves my mom and the children. He is kind to my brother when we see him, but he despises how he is tearing this family apart. He has even offered to have my mom & the children come and stay with us. Not that we have the room, but because he knows how scared she is.

So thank you for your prayers you sent up yesterday. If you think about us in the next few days/weeks/months, please send up more.

Follow up to yesterday's question

I thought more and more about what I wrote yesterday and kept feeling that something was missing from the post. The more I thought about it, I realized that I had short-changed you all. Let me explain...
My sweet niece really is that. A sweet loving girl who wants desperately to please and be loved. She is the first to greet me when I walk into my mom's. She is the first to want hugs and kisses and she is the last to wave me off. When I call my mom, she always wants to talk and tell me about her day.

My nephew is just precious. The most loving little boy who really is getting the shaft due to the situation with his parents. Often he'll say, "Hold. Hold," while he lifts his arms for me to cuddle him. When we're cuddled, he is content to stay like that for a long time.

I love them both so much. Mr. Potts and I try hard to be the best influence that we can for them as we realize that we may be the only couple that they see in a loving relationship. I spend as much time with them and make sure to do extra, special things so that they'll know my love. We've taken trips to the zoo (Sweet Niece and I are going in March). My niece comes over to spend the night and we bake cookies. She loves going to church with Mr. Potts and me. I promised to take her for her first trip to the beach this year and on her first airplane ride - I'm thinking a short trip to Atlanta to go to the aquarium.

I'm not telling you this to show what a good aunt I am. I think I'm trying to tell you how much I love them and want to take care of them. It infuriates me (which is the nicest word I can come up with) that their parents seem to take no notice of the fact that they are children and need their unconditional love and guidance. They need to be cherished. It makes me mad beyond belief that there are people who would love them and cherish them as all children deserve to be - those couples who face an agonizing realization that their lives may not be blessed with their own children, but who would take these babies in a heartbeat and love them as raise them - yet these two parents of these wonderful children don't. I hate that my ex-sister in law uses them as pawns and that my niece begs for her attention and love. Who should have to beg their mother to want to do things with them??

Add to this the fact that my mother is stepping back and completely raising her two grandchildren when she should be enjoying her retirement. Instead, she spends her time raising these babies. She feeds and clothes them, she tries to teach them numbers and letters, she worries that she won't have enough money to take them to the doctor when they're sick.

I think the worst part of this is that my brother doesn't seem to see a problem with this. It enrages me that he would treat his own mother this way.

Maybe this wasn't so much about short-changing you all, but more about trying to explain why my first reaction to my niece's question the other day was such a harsh one. I don't want to be harsh, I want to be the loving aunt that these blessings need.