Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Our First Break-up

As Mr. Potts and I were coming up on our anniversary, we experienced a break-up. Not our own (obviously) but still one that was disappointing to us.

A couple friend of ours who had begun dating just after we did went through a few rough patches and we found out they decided they weren't going to stay together. It is sad because we like them both - both individually & as a couple. They were the couple that we did a lot with.

She owns a townhome in our neighborhood & he was always over, so we'd usually catch up with them & have wine on each other's decks or go to a local restaurant for a quick bite.

Mr. Potts is especially close to the guy & I guess I'm more neutral - probably because I've been traveling so much.

So how do we separate our friendship? Do we try to hang out with one at a time? What happens is the buy starts to want to hang out with just Mr. Potts & doesn't want me to come along as much? Can we invite him over for dinner, even though she lives in our neighborhood?

Our annual holiday party is coming up soon. I'm sure they'll be friendly to each other, but what if someone hits on her? Or him??

Why isn't there a self-help book that tells me how to deal with this?

Why do people have to break up & ruin couple friendships??

10 comments:

Jenny DB said...

oohhh tricky:) did you guys know one or the other (or both) before they got together? I feel you have most alliegance to whichever you knew first, but that's tricky if that's not the case.. plus you obviously spent most time with them together. hmmm alot will depend on how 'friendly' they are!

Tracy-Girl said...

This is so tough... I hate when things like this happen because you feel bad for everyone involved. You two just have to do what you think is right, and try to give both of them your support.

brown eyed girl said...

I know..it's rough. I think it's going to be awkward and the two of them will probably lay claim on who is whose friend, because often breakups bring out odd conversations and jealousy! I'd say wait and see how it plays out...I hate that feeling!!

Brittany Ann said...

I know what you mean. I hate this. I actually had a friend of mine date a friend of my husbands, who she met at our wedding than break up with him and date ANOTHER friend of my husbands, who she also met at our wedding.

I just hope we're all never in place again, though I love them all.

Brown Girl said...

Oh that stinks, our good friends are still together and while we love them to death they really aren't right for each other. I told M I didn't want them to break up though because I'd miss them as a couple. Good, I'm selfish. But really that's tough! Maybe you can find new couple friends? ;) I can barely make one girl friend so good luck!!

Deelsu said...

I hate when this happens. When me and my ex-boyfriend broke up it was weird because we had a ton of couple friends and I had become close to a lot of the wives.
Needless to say.. we still hang out..and her hubs still hangs out with him.
Good thing is though..he moved..out of state.
Makes it easier..
So hard to find couple friends who both people like.

Good Gals Inc said...

This is very hard!!! I think the best thing to do, is be up front. You can be friends with both but you have to let each of them know that. And you also have to let it be known that you won't gossip. (They probably know that) Like no "Who was he with?" and whatnot. It's possible to be friends with both but you have to just be up front. Good luck honey!!

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

oh, that stinks. Our friends got divorced last year. We have not hung out with either the girl or guy becaues they both started dating other people who are weird. It is sad when that happens.

Notes From the Grove said...

Just try to stay out of it and be a good friend. That's all I can say. It's sad because my husband and his first wife's friends ALL decided to treat him like crap after they split. That breaks my heart because it's just not necessary, you know? Just be a good friend to each...that's your job :o)

Jane said...

This is always tricky! Hopefully y'all can find a nice balance on supporting them both!