I thought more and more about what I wrote yesterday and kept feeling that something was missing from the post. The more I thought about it, I realized that I had short-changed you all. Let me explain...
My sweet niece really is that. A sweet loving girl who wants desperately to please and be loved. She is the first to greet me when I walk into my mom's. She is the first to want hugs and kisses and she is the last to wave me off. When I call my mom, she always wants to talk and tell me about her day.
My nephew is just precious. The most loving little boy who really is getting the shaft due to the situation with his parents. Often he'll say, "Hold. Hold," while he lifts his arms for me to cuddle him. When we're cuddled, he is content to stay like that for a long time.
I love them both so much. Mr. Potts and I try hard to be the best influence that we can for them as we realize that we may be the only couple that they see in a loving relationship. I spend as much time with them and make sure to do extra, special things so that they'll know my love. We've taken trips to the zoo (Sweet Niece and I are going in March). My niece comes over to spend the night and we bake cookies. She loves going to church with Mr. Potts and me. I promised to take her for her first trip to the beach this year and on her first airplane ride - I'm thinking a short trip to Atlanta to go to the aquarium.
I'm not telling you this to show what a good aunt I am. I think I'm trying to tell you how much I love them and want to take care of them. It
infuriates me (which is the nicest word I can come up with) that their parents seem to take no notice of the fact that they are children and need their unconditional love and guidance. They need to be cherished. It makes me mad beyond belief that there are people who would love them and cherish them as all children deserve to be - those couples who face an agonizing realization that their lives may not be blessed with their own children, but who would take these babies in a heartbeat and love them as raise them - yet these two parents of these wonderful children don't. I hate that my ex-sister in law uses them as pawns and that my niece begs for her attention and love. Who should have to beg their mother to want to do things with them??
Add to this the fact that my mother is stepping back and completely raising her two grandchildren when she should be enjoying her retirement. Instead, she spends her time raising these babies. She feeds and clothes them, she tries to teach them numbers and letters, she worries that she won't have enough money to take them to the doctor when they're sick.
I think the worst part of this is that my brother doesn't seem to see a problem with this. It enrages me that he would treat his own mother this way.
Maybe this wasn't so much about short-changing you all, but more about trying to explain why my first reaction to my niece's question the other day was such a harsh one. I don't want to be harsh, I want to be the loving aunt that these blessings need.
Never a phrase I've used to describe me...although lately I'm rocking her hair:
My friend P at work told me that I've got it together.
