Wednesday, March 4, 2009

What's the correct answer?

A quick synopsis of my niece & nephew's short lives so far is definitely in order.
My brother met a young "lady" - we'll call her N. N became pregnant. Brother and N got married. Beautiful niece (Sweet Niece) was born. Brother and N separate. N becomes pregnant again - which was totally unexpected. Uh huh. Brother and N try to work it out - it doesn't work. N has my sweet nephew (Wonderful Nephew). Brother and N finally divorce.
Sweet Niece & Wonderful Nephew live with my mother who takes care of them full time without much support from either parent. N despises Brother's new girlfriend, K and teaches Sweet Niece to say awful, horrible things about K. Needless to say, no mother of the year award nominations from me for N! I also understand that my brother is not perfect. I know that he has done wrong as well - I am happy that he isn't teaching his children to say awful things about people.

Sweet Niece has now repeated the things that her mother taught her. To Brother's new girlfriend, K. Awful, mean things.

Last night I went to see my mom, Sweet Niece & Wonderful Nephew. At one point during the meal, my sweet little niece looked up at me full of innocence that only a 4 year old can have and asked, "Aunt Mrs. Potts? Why did mommy get pregnant with my little brother?"

"Because your mommy is a evil calculating person who should never be allowed to have children?" That was my thought - not my answer. What came out of my mouth instead was, "You know, Sweet Niece, you should ask your mommy that when you're as old as I am."

I'm bad - but I didn't say what I was originally thinking.


Anonymous said...

Ugh. My aunt and uncle have a similar story as your brother and N. They married, had two kids, divorced. Uncle got laid off, moved to FL because they offered him a wonderul position. My aunt explained the situation as "daddy leaving you" "abandonment" and "hate/evil/bad daddy". Then my cousins come over to my house (my father and their father are brothers) and they proceed to talk smack about my uncle in front of the family at family parties. It takes every ounce of courage that I can muster to not bitch slap my cousins. Poor kids, I know they are totally being messed with in the head because their frame of reference for understanding the situation was not appropriately explained to them. But its no excuse for a 21 year old to talk smack at my house. I think you handled the situation as best as you could!

USCEmily said...

Wow- crazy situation! Sounds like your mother is a saint for taking on 2 children when she has already raised her own!! I bet your niece and nephew are very cute, though. It's not their fault their parents aren't very responsible, right?

Whitney said...

Good for you for holding your tongue!

Kristen said...

You did the right thing. They will learn as they get older and hopefully will learn the right things about others and what to say.

Congratulations to the winners of your cool giveaway!

Anonymous said...

As much as I would have wanted to say that, too, I know you did the right thing. Your mom deserves an award for her kind heart. You are very lucky to have such a wonderful mom!

Shea said...

Its sad to hear that babies are used to get even with new girlfriends. I am glad those children have your mother and you as good women role models.

Barb said...

good for you,does your mom have custody?then she could "limit" the amount of time around sometime mommy.Just keep positive around the kids and maybe tell them we don't say that and change the subject maybe that will help.Stay positive....Barb

Anonymous said...

Your mother must be a wonderful woman if she is taking care of both her grandchildren full time. Good job on biting your tongue! I would have found it very difficult!